Date: 15 Jan 97 15:24:49 EST
From: Anthony T. Field
Subject: The Farther Side
To: Anthony T. Field
Greetings!
It has been a while, but I'm back and somewhat organized, and
yes, The Farther Side is back in Business.
For those of you who are new, TFS comes out 4-7 times a week.
I send it to give you a little comic relief when you most
need it (hopefully). If you don't want to get it, please
just let me know, I'll fix it before the next message comes
out. If you want me to add someone, just pass their name on
to me. Finally, if you have any stories that you think other
people might enjoy, I'm always taking contributions...
Birthday announcements and stuff like that are good too, of
course!
If your name was added to the list and you don't know where
it came from, the easiest explanation would be that "a little
birdie told me" and let's leave it at that. TFS always looks
the same when you get it - same subject header, so you can
always put off reading it till you get the chance!
Today's text is a classic, and for those of us who appreciate
Star Trek TNG, you'll love this!
Enjoy,
Tony
Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your
attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data,
have you been able to access their command pathways?
Geordi: Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by
searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century
computing technology.
Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer
screen.
Riker [puzzled] What the hell is Microsoft?
Data [turns to explain] Allow me to explain. We will send
this program, for some reason called Windows, through the
Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit,
it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable
rate.
Picard: But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they
alter their processing systems to increase their storage
capacity?
Data: Yes, Captain. But when Windows detects this, it creates
a new version of itself known as an upgrade. The use of
resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The
Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all
of their processing ability will be taken over and none will
be available for their normal operational functions.
Picard: Excellent work. This is even better than that
unsolvable geometric shape idea.
. . . . 15 Minutes Later . . .
Data: Captain, we have successfully installed the Windows in
the Borg's command unit. As expected, it immediately consumed
85% of all available resources. However, we have not
received any confirmation of the expected upgrade.
Geordi: Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg
storage and CPU capacity, but we still have no indication of
an upgrade to compensate for their increase.
Picard: Data, scan the history banks again and determine if
there is something we have missed.
Data: Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the
upgrade. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of
the plan by not sending in their registration cards.
Riker: Captain, we have no choice. Requesting permission to
begin emergency escape sequence 3F!
Geordi: [excited] Wait, Captain! Their CPU capacity has
suddenly dropped to 0% !
Picard: Data, what do your scanners show?
Data: [studying displays] Appearently the Borg have found the
internal Windows module named Solitaire, and it has used up
all available CPU capacity.
Picard: Lets wait and see how long this Solitaire can reduce
their functionality.
. . . . Two Hours Pass . . .
Riker: Geordi, what is the status of the Borg?
Geordi: As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer
to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each
time they successfully increase resources I have setup our
closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more Windows
modules from something called the Microsoft Fun-Pack.
Picard: How much time will that buy us?
Data: Current Borg solution rates allow me to predict an
interest time span of 6 more hours.
Geordi: Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.
Picard: Identify.
Data: It appears to have markings very similar to the
Microsoft logo...
[over the speakers] This is admiral Bill Gates of the
Microsoft flagship MONOPOLY. We have positive confirmation of
unregistered software in this sector. Surrender all assets
and we can avoid any trouble. You have 10 seconds to comply.
Data: The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and
released thousands of humanoid-shaped objects.
Picard: Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!
Riker: My God, captain! Those are human beings floating
straight toward the Borg ship - with no life support suits!
How can they survive the tortures of deep space?!
Data: I dont believe that those are humans, sir. If you will
look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying
something recognized by twenty-first century man as doeskin
leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits.
Riker and Picard, together [horrified] Lawyers!!
Geordi: It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent
hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening.
Data: True, but appearently some must have survived.
Riker: They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it
with all types of papers.
Data: I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as red
tape. It often proves fatal.
Riker: They're tearing the Borg to pieces!
Picard: Turn the monitors off, Data, I cant bear to watch.
Even the Borg doesn't deserve such a gruesome death!
Date: 17 Jan 97 01:59:19 EST
From: Anthony T. Field
Subject: The Farther Side
To: Anthony T. Field
Greetings...
Didjya ever feel a little ... tense?
Enjoy,
Tony
YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO STRESSED IF...
Relatives that have been dead for years come visit
you
and suggest that you should get some rest.
You can achieve a "Runners High" by sitting up.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not
realizing that you have said it before.
The Sun is too loud.
Trees begin chasing you.
You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
You begin to explore the possibility of setting up
an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step
for the consumption of coffee.
You can hear mimes.
You believe that if you think hard enough, you can
fly.
Things becomes "Very Clear".
You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can
get your order to go.
The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
You begin speaking in a language that only you and
Channelers can understand.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not
realizing that you have said it before.
You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though
you are the only one in the room.
Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
David Lynch wants to base a new tv show on you
You and Reality file for divorce.
It appears that people are speaking to you in binary
code.
(although, if you go to mit, this is not out of the
ordinary)
You have great revelations concerning:
Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't
quite find the words for them before the white glow
disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
You can travel without moving.
Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.
You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about
the subject,
get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to
speak to
yourself for the rest of the night.
Teddy bears begin to bully you for milk and cookies.
You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the
people you are talking to.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not
realizing that you have said it before...
Date: 20 Jan 97 19:35:56 EST
From: Anthony T. Field
Subject: The Farther Side
To: Anthony T. Field
Greetings!
I hope everyone had a good weekend and a good MLK day...
Most of you have heard of the dreaded Good Times virus....
Well, here's an update.
Enjoy,
Tony
The latest breaking news on the GOODTIMES virus.
It turns out that this so-called hoax virus is very
dangerous after all. Goodtimes will re-write your hard
drive. Not only that, it will scramble any disks that are
even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your
refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes
melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use
subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to
play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It
will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all
your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when
company comes over. It will put a dead kitten in the back
pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when
you are late for work.
Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It
will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour
sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows
while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing
the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if
she is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out
beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you
can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave
libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice!
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying
to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave
the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime
in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove
while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new
snowblower.
-- Eugene Volokh, UCLA Law
Date: 20 Jan 97 19:49:14 EST
From: Anthony T. Field
Subject: The Farther Side
To: Anthony T. Field
Greetings TFS Subscribers...
In my infinite wisdom, I forgot that I split up my list, and
so I forgot to send The Farther Side out to about half of
you, so here are the last 3 messages for the new version of
The Farther Side this term.
Sorry 'bout that!
Tony
p.s. they're especially funny this time!
--- Forwarded Message from Anthony T. Field ---
>Date: 15 Jan 97 15:24:49 EST
>From: Anthony T. Field
>Subject: The Farther Side
Greetings!
It has been a while, but I'm back and somewhat organized, and
yes, The Farther Side is back in Business.
For those of you who are new, TFS comes out 4-7 times a week.
I send it to give you a little comic relief when you most
need it (hopefully). If you don't want to get it, please
just let me know, I'll fix it before the next message comes
out. If you want me to add someone, just pass their name on
to me. Finally, if you have any stories that you think other
people might enjoy, I'm always taking contributions...
Birthday announcements and stuff like that are good too, of
course!
If your name was added to the list and you don't know where
it came from, the easiest explanation would be that "a little
birdie told me" and let's leave it at that. TFS always looks
the same when you get it - same subject header, so you can
always put off reading it till you get the chance!
Today's text is a classic, and for those of us who appreciate
Star Trek TNG, you'll love this!
Enjoy,
Tony
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~field/tfs/
Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your
attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data,
have you been able to access their command pathways?
Geordi: Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by
searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century
computing technology.
Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer
screen.
Riker [puzzled] What the hell is Microsoft?
Data [turns to explain] Allow me to explain. We will send
this program, for some reason called Windows, through the
Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit,
it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable
rate.
Picard: But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they
alter their processing systems to increase their storage
capacity?
Data: Yes, Captain. But when Windows detects this, it creates
a new version of itself known as an upgrade. The use of
resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The
Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all
of their processing ability will be taken over and none will
be available for their normal operational functions.
Picard: Excellent work. This is even better than that
unsolvable geometric shape idea.
. . . . 15 Minutes Later . . .
Data: Captain, we have successfully installed the Windows in
the Borg's command unit. As expected, it immediately consumed
85% of all available resources. However, we have not
received any confirmation of the expected upgrade.
Geordi: Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg
storage and CPU capacity, but we still have no indication of
an upgrade to compensate for their increase.
Picard: Data, scan the history banks again and determine if
there is something we have missed.
Data: Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the
upgrade. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of
the plan by not sending in their registration cards.
Riker: Captain, we have no choice. Requesting permission to
begin emergency escape sequence 3F!
Geordi: [excited] Wait, Captain! Their CPU capacity has
suddenly dropped to 0% !
Picard: Data, what do your scanners show?
Data: [studying displays] Appearently the Borg have found the
internal Windows module named Solitaire, and it has used up
all available CPU capacity.
Picard: Lets wait and see how long this Solitaire can reduce
their functionality.
. . . . Two Hours Pass . . .
Riker: Geordi, what is the status of the Borg?
Geordi: As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer
to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each
time they successfully increase resources I have setup our
closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more Windows
modules from something called the Microsoft Fun-Pack.
Picard: How much time will that buy us?
Data: Current Borg solution rates allow me to predict an
interest time span of 6 more hours.
Geordi: Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.
Picard: Identify.
Data: It appears to have markings very similar to the
Microsoft logo...
[over the speakers] This is admiral Bill Gates of the
Microsoft flagship MONOPOLY. We have positive confirmation of
unregistered software in this sector. Surrender all assets
and we can avoid any trouble. You have 10 seconds to comply.
Data: The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and
released thousands of humanoid-shaped objects.
Picard: Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!
Riker: My God, captain! Those are human beings floating
straight toward the Borg ship - with no life support suits!
How can they survive the tortures of deep space?!
Data: I dont believe that those are humans, sir. If you will
look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying
something recognized by twenty-first century man as doeskin
leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits.
Riker and Picard, together [horrified] Lawyers!!
Geordi: It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent
hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening.
Data: True, but appearently some must have survived.
Riker: They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it
with all types of papers.
Data: I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as red
tape. It often proves fatal.
Riker: They're tearing the Borg to pieces!
Picard: Turn the monitors off, Data, I cant bear to watch.
Even the Borg doesn't deserve such a gruesome death!
--- Forwarded Message from Anthony T. Field ---
>Date: 17 Jan 97 01:59:19 EST
>From: Anthony T. Field
>Subject: The Farther Side
Greetings...
Didjya ever feel a little ... tense?
Enjoy,
Tony
YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO STRESSED IF...
Relatives that have been dead for years come visit
you
and suggest that you should get some rest.
You can achieve a "Runners High" by sitting up.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not
realizing that you have said it before.
The Sun is too loud.
Trees begin chasing you.
You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
You begin to explore the possibility of setting up
an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step
for the consumption of coffee.
You can hear mimes.
You believe that if you think hard enough, you can
fly.
Things becomes "Very Clear".
You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can
get your order to go.
The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
You begin speaking in a language that only you and
Channelers can understand.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not
realizing that you have said it before.
You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though
you are the only one in the room.
Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
David Lynch wants to base a new tv show on you
You and Reality file for divorce.
It appears that people are speaking to you in binary
code.
(although, if you go to mit, this is not out of the
ordinary)
You have great revelations concerning:
Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't
quite find the words for them before the white glow
disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
You can travel without moving.
Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.
You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about
the subject,
get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to
speak to
yourself for the rest of the night.
Teddy bears begin to bully you for milk and cookies.
You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the
people you are talking to.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not
realizing that you have said it before...
--- Forwarded Message from Anthony T. Field ---
>Date: 20 Jan 97 19:35:56 EST
>From: Anthony T. Field
>Subject: The Farther Side
Greetings!
I hope everyone had a good weekend and a good MLK day...
Most of you have heard of the dreaded Good Times virus....
Well, here's an update.
Enjoy,
Tony
The latest breaking news on the GOODTIMES virus.
It turns out that this so-called hoax virus is very
dangerous after all. Goodtimes will re-write your hard
drive. Not only that, it will scramble any disks that are
even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your
refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes
melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use
subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to
play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It
will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all
your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when
company comes over. It will put a dead kitten in the back
pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when
you are late for work.
Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It
will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour
sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows
while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing
the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if
she is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out
beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you
can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave
libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice!
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying
to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave
the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime
in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove
while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new
snowblower.
-- Eugene Volokh, UCLA Law
Date: 26 Jan 97 11:25:37 EST
From: Anthony T. Field
Subject: The Farther Side
To: Anthony T. Field
Greetings!
Here's a little joke from Neesha!
Plus an invitation to a seminar.
Enjoy!
Tony
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband
opening the
front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She
quickly rubbed
baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum
powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just
pretend you're a
statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the
room.
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The
Smiths bought one
for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us
too." No more was
said about the statue, not even later that night when they
went to sleep.
Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to
the kitchen
and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of
milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood
like an idiot at
the Smiths' for three days and nobody offered me as much as a
glass of
water."
--- Forwarded Message from Timothy H. McCann ---
"The Missing Learjet"
A Special Charles C. Jones Seminar
and Brainstorming Session
conducted by John Collier,
Tuesday, January 28 at 3:00 p.m.
Room 100 -- Cummings Hall
Thayer School of Engineering
On Christmas Eve day a charter Learjet with pilot and copilot
aboard missed an approach to Lebanon Regional Airport and
turned around to try again. After a routine communication to
the tower, nothing more was heard from or seen of the plane
&emdash;and intensive aerial and ground searches have found nothing.
This seminar will include presentations about what is known
about the flight, Learjet flight characteristics, and the
search as carried out so far.
It will be followed by small group brainstorming sessions and
a final group discussion in which resulting ideas can be
shared and analyzed in the hopes that an engineering problem-
solving approach can help bring the search to a conclusion.
Presentors will include:
Eric Dole
FAA Certified Flight Instructor / Instrument
Lebanon Jet Center
Tom Garrity
Learjet Pilot,
Aircraft Charter Group
Tom Kirkpatrick '97
Army National Guard, Chief Warrant
Officer 2, Instructor Pilot.
Group technical and scientific support will be provided by
people versed in radar imaging, satellite imaging, acoustical
underwater scanning techniques, etc.&emdash;along with ground search
coordinators Phyllis Averine and Mark Owen.
All interested members of the Dartmouth community are
invited.
Date: 26 Jan 97 12:38:27 EST
From: Anthony T. Field
Subject: Correction
To: Anthony T. Field
Oops, sorry guys...
Tony
--- Forwarded Bulletin from Sara.W.Clash@Dartmouth.EDU (Sara
W. Clash), Topic: Tucker Volunteer Projects ---
>Date: 24 Jan 1997 17:32:10 -0500
>From: Sara W. Clash
>Subject: Lear Jet Meeting Cancelled!
>Bulletin Topic: Tucker Volunteer Projects
>Expires: 28 Jan 1997 17:31:36 -0500
The public session organized by the Thayer School has been
cancelled.
The families established a reward for finding the families
and it is
leading to too much irresponsible action, so the Thayer
program has
been closed to the public and will be conducted only within
an
engineering class.
Date: 27 Jan 97 18:33:23 EST
From: Anthony T. Field
Subject: The Farther Side
To: Anthony T. Field
Greetings...
This one's hilarious from Neesha - again! She just keeps
them coming! Anyway, let's put this under the advisory of
"religious/lawyer joke". Consider yourself warned.
Enjoy!
Tony
>> The Heavenly Marriage
>> =======================
>>
>> There was a young couple, very much in love, who the
night before
>>they were to be married, were both tragically killed in an
automobile
>>accident. They found themselves at the pearly gates of
heaven being
>>escorted in by St. Peter. After a couple of weeks in
heaven, the
>>prospective groom took St. Peter aside and said, "St.
Peter, my fiance
>>and I are very happy to be in heaven but we miss very much
the
>>opportunity to have celebrated our wedding vows. Is it
possible for
>>people in heaven to get married?"
>>
>> St. Peter looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, I've never
heard of
>>anyone in heaven wanting to get married. I'm afraid you'll
have to talk
>>to the Lord God Almighty about that. I can get you an
appointment for
>>two weeks from Wednesday."
>>
>> Come the appointed day, the couple were escorted by the
guardian
>>angels into the presence of the Lord God Almighty, where
they repeat the
>>request. The Lord looked at them solemnly and said, "I
tell you what,
>>wait five years and if you still want to get married, come
back and we
>>will talk about it again."
>>
>> Well five years went by, and the couple still very much
wanting to
>>get married, came back. Again the Lord God Almighty said,
"Please you
>>must wait another five years and then I will consider your
request."
>>
>> Finally, they come before the Lord God Almighty the
third time, ten
>>years after their first request, and ask the Lord again.
This time the
>>Lord answered, "Yes, you may marry. This Saturday at 2:00
p.m., we
>>will have a beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The
reception will
>>be on me!"
>>
>> The wedding went beautifully, all the guests thought the
bride was
>>beautiful. Moses brought some flowers from the Nile River
Delta and
>>Ghandi came wearing his finest hand-woven sari.
>>
>> But, you guessed it, the couple was married but a few
months when
>>they realized they had made a horrible mistake, they just
couldn't stay
>>married to one another.
>>
>> So they made another appointment to see the Lord God
Almighty, this
>>time to ask if they could get a divorce in heaven. When
the Lord heard
>>their request, he looked at them and said, "Look, it took
us ten years
>>to find a priest up here in heaven; do you have any idea
how long it'll
>>take to find a lawyer?"
Date: 28 Jan 97 22:54:16 EST
From: Anthony T. Field
Subject: The Farther Side
To: Anthony T. Field
Greetings!
Here's a recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies for engineers...
Also, I found a set of keys in front of Casque & Gauntley on
Main St tonight. 1 dorm key, 1 lab key, and one smaller key
all on a shoelace-type string. If they are yours , please
let blitz me back.
Enjoy!
Tony
Why Engineers Don't Write Recipe Books
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chocolate Chip Cookies:
Ingredients:
1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4.) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-
coated protein
9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10.) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an
overall heat
transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add
ingredients one, two
and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor
vessel with a
radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients
four, five, six,
and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2,
add ingredient
eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous
mixture in reactor
#1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with
constant
agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the raction to
control any
temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic
reaction.
Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the
mixture
piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K
oven for a
period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's
first order
rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.
Once the
reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer
table,
allowing the product to come to equilibrium.