Subject: The Farther Side
Date: Fri, 1 Aug 1997 17:25:02 -0500
From: Tony Field <ATField@sprynet.com>
To: Multiple recipients of list TFS <TFS@caligari.Dartmouth.EDU>
Greetings!
I didn't realize that there was such an intense debate between being a
jock and being a nerd, but apparently it's important enough to some
people.... Anyway, in case you weren't sure, take a look at this.
Thanks Neesha!
Enjoy,
Tony
In answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a
nerd?" I submit the following:
Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game: $10,000 a minute,
assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game.
Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100
a day (working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while
visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550
while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike)
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him
a whole 12 hours.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would
have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be
'reimbursed' $33,390 for that round.
Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into his tax
deferred account (401k), he will hit the federal cap of $9500 for such
accounts at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st, 1997.
If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you'd be
living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the
Olympics.
He'll make about $15,600 while the Boston Marathon is being run.
While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy
Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
Next year, he'll make more than twice as much as all of our past
presidents for all of their terms combined.
Amazing isn't it? But: Jordan will have to save 100% of his income for
270 years to have a net worth equivalent to that of Bill Gates.
NERDS RULE! NERDS RULE! NERDS RULE!
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Subject: The Farther Side
Date: Wed, 13 Aug 1997 01:06:03 -0500
From: Tony Field <ATField@sprynet.com>
To: Multiple recipients of list TFS <TFS@caligari.Dartmouth.EDU>
Greetings!
A little email break is good once in a while... :-) Here's one from
Kaja on making it in the real world, followed by one from Mark on a
similar topic.
Enjoy,
Tony
RAPID DECLINE
Commencement each year is quite a step down
For June grads both bright and brainy --
As they go from Summa Cum Laude
To Sales Assistant or Trainee.
--Edward Dempsey
Kurt Vonnegut's commencement address at MIT.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen
would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been
proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no
basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will
dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind.
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look
back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp
now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you
really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying
is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things
that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you
at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss..
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead,
sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end,
it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with
your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at
22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most
interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them
when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children,
maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance
the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you
do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself
either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of
it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest
instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone
for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to
your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the
future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few
you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography
and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need
the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you
soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians
will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll
fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust
fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when
either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it
will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way
of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting
over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
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